Transportation
6 is the express route to downtown, the Consultorio and the Mercado Artesanal.
65 to and from the Terminal Terrestre. Don’t expect to take this home after dark. In that case, take any bus going to U. Laica, get off in front of the University, cross the street, and take 42.

All bus rides are $0.25

Food
Marcelo’s
Esmeralda y Velez
What they have: Ceviches, arroces, fried mariscos, tortilla de camaron, sango
What’s good: Ceviches, arroces
Pro-tip: Ask for cilantro on your arroz, order at the register first.
Sitch: Restaurant

To the Right of the Music Store
Riobamba y Victor Manuel Rendon
Getting there: Bus 6
What they have: Encebollado, cazuela, bolos
What’s good: Bollos, cazuela
Pro-tip: Pay at the register first
Sitch: Hole in the wall

Choza de Jugo
Rafael Jimena y Junin
Getting there: Go to the street behind the Consultorio, there’s Rafael Jimena
What they have: Juice/Shakes (fruits depends on the season, you can always expect: naranjas, carrot, avocado, mora, naranjilla, strawberry), fruit salad, naranjada grilled cheese sandwiches (ham option)
What’s good: Ensalada de fruta, orange/carrot combo, mamey (without sugar)
Pro-tip: Other jugueros have mora/coco combo, only get an avocado shake in the sierra (they’re 10x in the sierra), be assertive
Sitch: Permanent hut

La Araña Marina
Luis Urdaneta y Rafael Jimena
Getting there: Further down the street from the Choza de Jugo
What they have: Encebollado (3 kinds), chifle
What’s good: Encebollado sencillo
Pro-tip: By 1PM they’ll be out of encebollado.
Sitch: Hole in the wall

Sabroson
Los Rios y Bolivia
Getting there: Bus 42 get off on Bolivia, walk west to Los Rios.
What they have: Sandwiches (pork, turkery, ham), fritada, bandejas with mote (pork, turkey, fritada)
What’s good: Sandwiches (pork, turkey)
Pro-tip: It’s worth trying their competitors: Sabrosito, Carchi y Colombia, nearby. Be assertive.
Sitch: Counter-service

In front of the Girl’s School
Piedrahita y Del Ejercito
Getting there: Bus 6
After school 2-3PM they sell churritos, hielo raspada and other goodies. Further down the same bus route in front of the cemetery they also sell churritos.
Pro-tip: No one calls them churritos anymore, they’re called gusanitos.
Sitch: Street vendors

Gobierno Zonal de Guayaquil (the big golden building with huge golden doors)
Francisco Orellana y Justino Cornejo
Getting there: Bus 42, 52, get off at Policentro, walk up Orellana toward Mall del Sol for 7 blocks or grab any bus going your way.
What’s good: Jugo de caña, motera, fritada, empanadas de verde, tortillas de verde, llapingacho
Sitch: Street vendors hovering a government building

Boloncito
Boyaca y Velez y Quito
Getting there: Bus 52, get off just before it turns onto , the place is in front of the IESS building
What they have: Bolones de verde with cuero or queso, coffee jugos, tostadas
What’s good: Bolones
Pro-tip: Next door they sell corviches, muchines, empanadas de verde, etc.

Las Ricas Hamburguesas de la Negrita Crucelina
Jose de Antepara entre 9 de Octubre y Primero de Mayo
Getting there: Bus 42, get off at 9 de Octubre, walk up 1 block.
What they have: Hamburguesas, soda
What’s good: It’s all they got
Pro-tip: This is not the best burger you’ve ever eaten. It’s just the best burger in Guayaquil. Only open Mon-Fri.

Pizzeria Pucinella
Pareja Rolando entre Idrovo Rosales y Luis Mendoza (before the bridge)
Getting there: Bus 42, 52 get off at Policentro, walk to Orellana, take 63 or 89
What they have: Pizza (Neopolitan style), lasagna
What’s good: Margherita
Pro-tip: Bring some fresh basil with you to put on the Margherita

Shawarma
P. Icaza y Boyaca
What they have: Shawarma, yogurt, pan de yucca, kippe, etc.
Pro-tip: All the other shawarma’s got majorly cholofied, these guys maintained the sazón arabe. Shawarma’s only available on weekdays.

Topi Sushi
V. E. Estrada entre Guayacanes y Ficus (next to Riviera)
What they have: best sushi bargain
What’s good: the lunch special on weekdays
Pro-tip: Avoid anything on the menu that’s not sushi or the lunch special, don’t go at night.

Yu Hua
Delivery
What they have: more Chinese Cantonese food.
What’s good: Rice noodles, pork buns, pork chaulafan, egg rolls
Pro-tip: Their wantan isn’t good.

Palacio Verde
Delivery
What they have: This is the cholo chifa food.
What’s good: The wantan is better here
Pro-tip: the egg rolls are grossly greasy

Avoid:
Lo Nuestro, Sanduches Don Pepe, Palacio de Oro, Sion Lung, Riviera, Maria Bonita, Tijuana,

Markets
Mercado Artesanal
Aflredo Baquerizo y Loja
Getting there: Bus 6, 52, 112
What they got: Best place in Guayaquil for artesanías

La Bahía
Cristobal Colon y Pichincha
Getting there: Bus 52, right in front
What they got: Pirated everything
Pro-tip: around the vicinity of the Bahia they sell helado de paila (most often naranjilla and coco or mora and coco), motera, coco juice, if you’re lucky deep inside the maze you’ll find someone selling empanadas de viento. (LT note: OMG! “wind empanadas” are AMAZING and hard to find–worth trying to get to. Its a deep frying secret almost lost to the ages.)

Mercado Central
Clemente Ballen y Garaicoa
Getting there: Bus 54, get off on Clemente Ballen walk east to Garaicoa
What they got: Best selection of veggies, meats, herbs
Pro-tip: They sell secos and fritada at the stalls.

La Caraguay
Trujillo y Francisco Robles
Getting there: Metrovia main line south, get off at Mercado Caraguay, walk north to Trujillo, walk all the way east
What they got: The best and freshest seafood in town, giant tuna steaks, langostinos, etc.
Pro-tip: Food at the stalls: ceviche, encebollado, cangrejo, etc. Do not buy the pre-cooked conchas or shelled cangrejo to take home.

“it’s unclear what, exactly, the show’s harshest critics are so worried about. That “Work of Art” will create the unfounded expectation that artists can produce at the snap of a finger? Or that they might actually appreciate winning that grand prize and getting some air time? Or are they just worried that the “mysteries” of the art world will be exposed to middle America?”

No no no! You are wrong Salon writer. What I hate about this show is that it doesn’t really represent the art world at all! Middle Americans—god bless them are getting retarded information from this show. Frankly this is what made the “shocking” work of art episode so disappointing. It wasn’t shocking. It was trite, banal etc. I want Middle Americans (or whatever population is deemed be hideous ignorant noobs) to see my wonderful world of weird performance, beards (seriously this show is a scam if anything because not one of the contestants are sporting at least one god-damned beard), thought inspiring work on the ism of your choice, silly penis statues, and the completely absurd pretentiousness tied in with it. Yes this show isn’t pretentious enough. It’s not anything enough actually.

The art world is so fantastically polarizing really. This show takes what is super awesome, or divisive about art and turns it into a mediocre reality show. Not even like an awesome reality show like MTV’s Rock of Love. (Brett Michael’s diabeedus alone was water cooler fodder for days)

And so the shocking work of art episode suuuuuuuucked. Why? Because Bravo is afraid. The artists are afraid. They are afraid to actually show that awesome art can be as entertaining as that time Ron Jeremy and Tammy Faye Baker actually became besties on what was probably the best season of Celebrity House Party on VH1.

To my dear reality show artistes: don’t you know that the most shocking work of art comes from Deep Within The Heart?

Not surprisingly, most of the artists had not read the books they were supposed to be designing covers for. This is forgivable, what I found genuinely revealing was that the contestants were so ignorant that they had no idea what the books were about—at all! I mean look. I’ve not read any Jane Austen. I was more of a Bronte girl myself. But I also really, really like the actress Kate Winslet and thus remember her performance in Sense and Sensibility. And so I can at least know that Jane Austen novels explore the class politics of marriage in England. You know how else I know this? As it turns out, I also loved PBS’ Regency House Party series and I learned a lot about this.

Basically, as artists, the whole lot of them struck me as unobservant. Does no one watch TV or Movies? These books are referenced all the damn time. You’d think they’d pick up on something. Miles was the only artist who really went about this the right way in my opinion: He actually spent half of the challenge reading his assigned book.

Miles didn’t make it to the top round this time but I was happy with the winner. It was a perfect example of how just one little detail can make or break a visual. In this case, the addition of a tiny little ladder to the abstract geometrical time machine. Without it, the image didn’t really make sense for HG Well’s novel. But the ladder suddenly added a sense of curiosity and whimsy.

Am sort of dreading the “shocking” work of art challenge that Bravo keeps previewing. It sounds like an invitation to terrible but I shall soldier on.